New Year's Eve/new decade.

2010! My New Year's Resolution is to finish all of my 2009 blog posts & to have a better year of love and style.

2009 was the most frustrating & hard year I've ever had. A time of loss with tons of heartache & pain.

I am completely glad it's almost over...
See you in hell 2009!

"The memories fade like looking through a fogged mirror. Decision to decisions are made and not bought, but I thought this wouldn't hurt a lot. I guess not."

Last blog post of the decade/year! See ya next year...in 2010!

paper heart...

After watching the movie, "Paper Heart" it got me thinking, remembering a time before closing off my heart. The movie was all about love & overcoming the obstacle of yourself & allowing yourself to feel. As I watched this movie I could feel the intensity & awkwardness of a 1st date & the uncertainty every relationship brings. I thought this is like my dating story. Dating (homecooked dinner, the grocery store, sitting & talking on the couch) & love happened. She was still a skeptic. It took them parting for her to realize despite everything she believed in & all her reservations about love; she wanted him in her life. She was in love.
Sometimes I can't remember what happened in my dating life & why it was so painful. Why did I think it was worth the pain? I've gone for months trying to revieve those feelings, but I can't & I don't understand how I felt them at all. Then I think maybe I didn't. I don't understand & I'll never understand. Why am I still...dating? Is love worth the risk of painful experiences?

"TO FEEL SOMETHING YOU HAVE TO TAKE A LITTLE RISK."

mY gOOdies...mY gOOdies

Twas' the night before Christmas...

Christmas Eve, giving out my goodies. Every year my parents give treats to our neighbors/friends/bishopric. They tend to make me & my sister make the goodies then deliver them. This year, I didn't have ANY money for presents for anyone, so I took goodies to my Emery besties. & I got a treat of my own...

"All I want for Christmas is you"

I love love them. The original friends. They stuck with me through thick & thin & were the ones I got to share my Christmas Eve treats with.

1st house: Weston, friend for 9 yrs. History: The adventures of Sponge-bob & Patrick! Prom date & a lot of hangout dates. THE ONLY boy to ever to hold my hand. My favorite date on record; Jazz game, missing 1/2 a day of school, running around Gateway trying to get into Abercrombie & Fitch before it closed. Picking me up & running through the fountain and getting soaked, he grabbed my hand & wouldn't let go. Even on the way home he held my hand....while he drove. The timing was never right then I realized it'll never be right, but I heart him anyway.

2nd house: Abbie, friend for 15 yrs. History: met on the playground, was scared of her. She was so outspoken & I was the shy one. Since then we have endured so much like cat fights, dumb boys & High School. She was & remains the most loyal friend I have ever had. She would defend & stick up for me when no one else would. Everyone was scared of her, but to be on her side is the safest place for a messed up friend like me. I can be completely honest about anything & everything with her.

3rd house: Seth, friend for 18 yrs. My best guy friend that I heart & completely trust. My eternal friend. History: He's been in my life for so long I can't imagine it without him. Without him I wouldn't have survived BYU. I was suppose to go to Prom with him, but Weston asked 1st. BUT I asked him to Promenade with me. Prom King & Student Body President, he is the guy I get pressured about the most to marry. Sorry everyone, he's my ETERNAL friend, not eternal companion, but I do love him!

4th house: Anne, friend for 22 yrs. Even before I was born, my parents & her parents planned for us to be friends. She was my 1st FRIEND! Because of her I have Abbie as a friend & I made it through swimming lessons & Elementary. We are so different, but remain friends & rekindled our friendship this Christmas Eve spending the most time at her house discussing our very similar lives; giving me hope that life will get better & everyone needs a break from school. It's not the end of the world.

The greatest gift I've been given is the gift of good friends.

"Last Christmas I gave you my heart, the very next day you gave it away. This year to keep me from tears I'll give it to someone special...."

CANNOT be your MEMORY...

NEVER ACT OUT OF FEAR!

"I still try holding on to silly things. I never learn."

I have a hard time letting go of people. I think it's fitting to quote the song, "Memory," by Sugarcult. The song that was dedicated to me when we went to Homecoming together.

"This could never start. We could fall apart. And I'd be your memory. Lost your sense of fear. Feelings insincere. Can I be your memory?
So get back, back, back to where we lasted just like I imagined I could never feel this way. So get back, back, back to the disaster. My heart's beating faster. Holding on to feel the same. This may never start. I'll tear us apart. Can I be your enemy? Losing half a year. Waiting for you here. I'd be your anything. This may never start. Tearing out my heart. I'd be your memory. Lost your sense of fear. Feelings disappeared. Cannot be your memory"

To be honest, I regret the things that I don't do. I have always known he had so much potential. Even back then I was more strict with dating. I knew dating him was not an option. He had tons of girlfriends & I did not want to be just another girl. I knew he liked me; he has always been brave enough to tell me. I felt that if my feelings meant anything I would wait. Wait, until it would actually mean something. I would make sure he served his mission. Then after, finally, I would act upon what I wanted.
"Too little too late"

When he returned I was scared. I've never known how to let myself feel what I was feeling for him. I had chances, but the timing was never right. I blamed time, but we were never right.

"I drowned out all my sense with the sound of its beating"

I woke up in the middle of the night terrified about a nightmare I had. In this dream I was too late to tell him anything. It really scared me. Acting out of fear, I text him & I can't believe I told him that I liked him more than a friend. We didn't even discuss it, just pretended like nothing happened & I guess that's true, nothing happened. I didn't want something to happen, but I feel like at least he knows now. I can't completely blame myself, it's his fault too. Now, I can let go.

"I CAN't BELIEVE you call yourself my friend, why don't you look me in the eyes one last time?"

"I see you lying next to me with words I thought I'd never speak, awake and unafraid, asleep or dead."

chemicals react

THE PERFECT MAN: EDWARD CULLEN? He's a VAMPIRE!
I disagree with this! It wasn't until I ran into the REAL perfect man at the "New Moon" movie that I realized this.

I love my besties, Brenna, who got the tickets & Wendy, who waited in line with us outside for 6 hours in the freezing COLD to see a movie! We were later join by Rosy to watch our latest OBSESSION!

Even though "New Moon" was my least favorite book from the Twilight series, the movie was okay, but I LoVeD the shirtless Jacob!

PERFECT BEST FRIEND: JACOB BLACK? He's a WEREWOLF!

Completely false. You can have an attractive best friend, but to be attracted to them defeats the whole idea of best FRIEND.

I was up in Provo for the NEW MOON movie & I saw my favorite "perfect man." Who was just as happy & surprised to see me. He's so happy about my decision to serve a mission. & said we should keep in touch as he got my number (again) on his new phone. We hugged & chatted I couldn't help, but notice all the girls checking him out. He dazzles everyone...

A month later...I am so happy, I heard from "the perfect man." He emailed me. He's such a great person. It's such a good reminder to me of how I want my future husband to be like. The feeling he gives me whenever I hear from him or see him like I did a month ago at the movies; he always leaves me happy. He's such a joy to be around, an all around good guy. My friend. He has such a good heart and good intentions towards people. He truly is a beautiful person with a beautiful soul. I would totally be his BELLA anyday! Only for the "perfect man", MARRIAGE OVER MISSION!

HEART-BURN

"I hurt myself today to see if I still feel...I focus on the pain the only thing that's real."

Emotional pain causes physical pain. After the hemorrhoids, then heartburn that killed me for many months leading to an endoscopy & a biopsy not to mention the infection of lice for almost 2 months.

"The needle tears a hole the old familiar sting, try to kill it all away, but I remember everything."

Within the last couple of weeks trying to figure out what is wrong with me has been exhausting. 2 different types of doctors made a direct correlation between my physical health and mental health. To put it lightly I'm killing myself from the inside out.

"What have I become, my sweetest friend? Everyone I know goes away in the end."

The negativity and harshness is internalized causing my chest to hurt. I didn't realize it until today through a petty comment. I went in my room and stopped breathing. It felt like my whole chest weighed a million pounds. I could feel it tighten.

"and you could have it all my empire of dirt. I will let you down, I will make you hurt."

Yesterday when the doctors showed me my results there was nothing wrong. Everything looked fine. They can't physically find the problem for why my throat muscles are tightened making it hard to eat anything and to breathe.

"I wear this crown of thorns up on my liar's chair, full of broken thoughts I cannot repair"

I'm suppose to write down every time a negative feeling comes over me. & each time my chest starts to ache. It feels like a heart-attack. It takes so much time to get back to normal. After I eat I have to sit up for hours after, spitting up my food.

"beneath the stains of time the feelings disappear. You are someone else I am still right here.

It's so hard for me to deal with this when no one else understands how much it hurts. It hurts all the time. I can remember what it's like to be able to eat food normal, the last time was in August.

"if I could start again a million miles away I would keep myself I would find a way."

aLL the right friends & a bAd RoMaNce

The SPOOKY weekends begins....

all the RIGHT MOVES in ALL the right places.

Provo is full of masks & costumes. My bestie Rosy celebrated the big 30! & all her friends surprised her with a PHaNTOM of The OPeRa dance party. Special thanks to Jon, Brenna, & Wendy. So hard to keep the secret, but we LOVE LOVE her!

HALLOWEEN 2009: BAD ROMANCE
Circus Ring-master & the fame monster: LaDY GaGA...
I wanted to be someone that I couldn't be after I serve my mission & the most outragous person I'd want to dress up as would be Miss Poker Face herself.

"there are 2 types of guys out there; the ones that can hang with me & the ones that are scared." I saw ESC boy & baseball boy...then I realized they will always be SCARED boys; it's not just during HALLOWEEN!

LUCKILY, I have all the right friends in all the right places.

SCARY STORIES PARTY-It wasn't what I had in mind for that night, but I was there for my friends. I was HORRIFIED not because of the stories, but I was mistaken for MADONNA! I'm LADY GAGA! Do you live under a rock?

The after-party, I took care of the Kittens & we took pictures & watched Enchanted.

"I'll follow you around until you love me....papa...paparrazi."

"& we lived happily ever after."

Let me go....THE BOX

"In my head there's only you now & this world falls on me."

With all the free time, I've been looking to the past; scrap-booking & discarding every insignificant thing I've kept. What I found was a bunch of baggage I have hidden & stored away trying to forget their existence. I found the BOX, a box every girl has to keep the memories & mementos of their past loves. I found the only one I had. The box I forgot to forget. BUT successfully I have kept from my thoughts for enough time to move on.

After reading the EMAILS, love notes, & listening to his mix he made before his departure. I could see CHEMISTRY....

Why do we always look to the past? Maybe it's because it's safe, knowing what already happened. Finding comfort in what was instead of what is now...uncertainty.

I went through the BOX, scrap-booked what was left, just a memory.

"I dream ahead of what I hope for & I turn my back on loving you."

What's left of me?

D.I.: A place where one man's trash is another man's treasure.

"Watch my life pass me by in the rear view mirror, pictures frozen in time are becoming clearer...you can have all that's left of me."

My face burned like fire, but I kept looking down. I couldn't help, but realize how close I was to this guy, a D.I. employee?

STRANGER DANGER! After we drove off, it hit me, I was BLUSHING! Something I haven't done in such a long time that I didn't recognize it. I was surprised, heat was not only in my cheeks, but my forehead and the rest of my face. A guy was flirting with me while I was being charitable?
It all started as we pulled up to the drop off place behind D.I., my sister rolled my window down for me to give the workers my stuff I was donating.

D.I. guy smiling, "Is this for me?" I was taken off guard and confused by the question. I handed him the bags quickly, & replied, "Umm...yeaaahh. Thanks." He didn't take his eyes off me. As we busted out in laughter driving off, Bre glanced back as he was going through my stuff already. Bre laughed, "He was staring at you & flirting with you!"
Embarrassed & obviously blushing, she mocked me as she said, "You would like him! He's your type; a cute nerd."

I was still wounded from baseball boy & couldn't even grasp the concept of "other fish in the sea."

Damaged goods, is what I would call myself. After the baseball boy situation over the summer. I would say I'm not worth flirting with to anyone...but maybe, D.I. was much more than dropping off old items you didn't want anymore, but realizing that other people would love to have them. As strange as this sounds, maybe I'm the item.

I guess that's the blessing (an epiphany) I get for going to D.I. & donating clothes!

"Will you take what's left of me?"

The strange thing is that I haven't felt the "za za zoo" in a long time. *za za zoo-Sex & the City reference for butterflies.

CuRse Of cUrVes...

I'm FAT!!!

I have no idea how it happened, okay, I might know...how I am 127 lbs! Never in my 22 years of life have I weighed so much!

I eat because I'm unhappy, I'm unhappy because I eat.

Living at home again is hard to say the least. I thought I'd be strong enough to endure before I leave on my mission. I was wrong.

I have been eating to escape...the reality of life.

The reality is I'm unhappy & fat. The most embarrassing part is when I realized I was fat at CD pool swimming with my family. Everyone went down the big slide & so I went down....SLOWLY. I stopped in the middle of the slide & only made it all the way down is because a little kid behind me rammed into me sending me all the way down the slide.

Wishful thinker with the worse intentions

BAD STUFF KEEPS HAPPENING....

I get so mad and upset. I didn't do this. I didn't give it to myself, why then do I have to have the worst of it?

The bishop said that where ever I was I would be going through the same amount of adversity despite where ever I was. At school, would I be as depressed there as I am at home? Would I get treated in a manner which drives me to eat my emotions?

I want to do good. I want to live righteously, but it's twisted by others to be perceived as being self-righteous and judgmental & most of all SELFISH.

I hate feeling this way. I have never felt this much hatred. It feels more raw now, every negative thing feels a million times worse.

In the last year of my life I had never cried more than the last month of my life. I know I have a problem letting go of my emotions and channeling it into something.

I guess in the end, Satan can tear you to pieces if you let him & obvisously I let him, because I'm at the end about to break. BUT God is the only one that can fully & truly build you up.

I feel like I have lost so much of my life & i think back to last year....exactly one year ago & how much i had then. & now what more do i have....I feel that a huge chunk of my life is gone. I don't have school anymore. I defined myself as a student. My life goal was to graduate, but life sometimes happens without your choosing.

I lost my heart. I don't know where it is, but I do know it's not where it's suppose to be. I feel that it could be still in Provo, still with my family, and friends. I'm learning to deal with life. Sometimes, it feels that I can't keep fightiing. I guess what fighting means is that I am still LIVING my life...I'm still doing things. I'm still active.

"I'm retracing every step in my head, what did i miss back then that I was so mislead?"

I think the reason why i was so busy "having fun" up at BYU always with a friend or preparing to do something/planning, is to amuse myself and distract myself from my own misery.

"Drop dead dream the chosen one....i don't mind if you don't mind cause I don't shine if you don't shine."

So I sliced my finger open while peeling potatoes. It bled so much for 20 minutes. It was deep. I thought I would have to go to the ER & get it stitched up. I finally realized how bad it was so I prayed & then the blood stopped.

It didn't occur to me that like Heavenly Father, Satan can use people for his purposes & he has been. Even my stake president has told me, that Satan uses the tactic of having people closest to us to tear people down. Taking my happiness away. Sometimes I can't remember what it's like to have others around me who choose to love me.

"I'm sorry for changing. I'm sorry that it had to be this way. Believe me, it's easier just to pretend. But, I won't apologize for who I am."

giRL at rOck sHow...

wHaT's My aGe AgAiN.....

I paid $46 dollars for a Blink 182 ticket & ended up in the $69 pit next to Mark Hoppus.

A trip down memory lane to junior high, my bff Abbie burned a blink CD for me & made a fake cover(so I wouldn't get in trouble).

That Blink CD was the 1st CD I snuck into the house without my parents knowing.

"a DeCAdE UnDeR ThE iNfLUeNCe.."

Ten years later...back to 2009, at a time where I got to rebel again, thanks to my bff Abbie.

"hERe'S YoUr HoLiDAy"

LABOR DAY: violated at the doors by security searching for pot & weed; our seats...way in the back, so we snuck closer during Chester French, but some skanks snaked our seats so we decided to get in the pit for Taking Back Sunday, (which called for a ticket). Abbie's older bro rubbed the marker marks off their ticket, but mine still had a mark. I played it cool & held my black nail polished finger over the mark & stayed the whole night in the pit!

"wHEre YoU wAnT tO be"...

In the pit, boys with eyeliner & skinny jeans; I was in HEAVEN! We stood back for Taking Back Sunday. Far enough back that I was the only one dancing & singing to the songs. Tons of people, the lights went dim & the crowd pushed forward running to the stage. We got swept up in the crowd. I couldn't breathe.

"hAPPENS ONcE AgAIn YOU TuRN TO A FRIEND..."

Abbie grabbed my arm & pulled me out of the mosh pit. I got stepped on & trampled over as boys with no shirts slammed up against each other. We got out, but security wouldn't let us leave the pit. I couldn't see anything so I ran in the no-people zone to the side of the stage to get a closer picture of Tom & about 4 security guards escorted us back to the pit.
"FeeLinG ThiS.."

I wanted to see Mark Hoppus, not Travis or Tom & he was the furthest from us. Abbie got sucked into the mosh pit & couldn't get out. She got pushed into the front where a guy had to grab her arm to pull her out.

"i GUeSS THiS Is GrOWInG Up"

Alone & freaked for Abbie I recieved glares from blink fans I rammed into. Until FINALLY I was a few feet from MARK HOPPUS.

"MAKEDAMNSURE..that you won't ever leave, no you won't ever get to far from me."

I was stepped on & pushed around & stuck between a huge amazon girl on my left & a disgusting couple snogging on my right. As soon as the crowd smashed us again, I shoved my way through them & ended up closer. Travis Barker was suspended high above the stage playing the drums while rotating.

The night ended with confetti & "dammit". The perfect ending...

all of the above..

"Tell me what do you see when you're looking at me?




On a mission to be what I'm destined to be..."

SISTER ADISON

It's official I started my mission papers August 2009.

500 Days of Summer

After seeing the movie, "500 days of Summer," with my sisters, I started to think about my "summer."
"Into your head, into your mind, out of your soul race through your veins you can 't escape, you can't escape into your life into your dreams out of the dark is alot of guilt you can't explain. Can you feel it rushing through your head?"

DAY 1: Like the movie it showed the end at the beginning.

I knew it was the end before it happened. I was blessed to know I did my best at school & I had to accept that. I couldn't do anything to prevent the decisions I needed to make after I enjoyed this past summer. My life was forever changed in April when BYU ended for me. I have always known the mission decision would come & I would finally have to move forward with faith. As my summer continued I tried to hold on to it(summer) for as long as I could, but it was all in vain, because I saw the end first.

The hardest thing about serving a mission & making that decision is leaving behind my life. I never thought it would be this hard to do the Lord's will. I can see now how some see a mission as a break from life, in my case it's not a break, it's the biggest sacrafice. I feel guitly, because it's so hard, maybe too hard.

DAY 99: I talked to my Bishop about a mission & he gave me time to be completely sure about serving before the process began.

DAY 104: I gave the Bishop my answer; I'm SERVING a mission.

DAY 105: I announced it offically to everyone, including baseball boy.
DAY 115: I got my sister missionary account on LDS.org.

DAY 120: I got sick.

DAY 127: My swallowing foods problem started.

DAY 140: Got infected.

DAY 170: Finished mission papers.

DAY 177: Got treated.

DAY 182: Got food poisoning.

DAY 200: Stake Pres. put mission on hold.

DAY 223: Saw a specialist for my swallowing food problem.

DAY 231: Got a biopsy & endoscopy.

DAY 242: Got results, doctors can't figure out what's wrong.

DAY 258: More tests...

"don't let anyone tell you your life is over...be every color that you are. Into the rush now, you don't have to know how, know it all before you try."

Let's make a toast...

29 reasons why I am making a toast to Bre on our birthday!

1. She's my best friend, worst enemy and older sister...all wrapped up in one.

2. She's gives me the better gift on our birthday.

3. She sometimes resembles Dora the explorer & a life-size barbie doll.

4. She's my personal stylist Rachael Zoe & has the crazy hair to prove it.

5. She makes me smarter by forcing me to play scabble & to watch jeopardy.

6. She loves drama...shows like Gossip Girls, The Hills, & Sex and the City & has more shoes than Carrie Bradshaw, more handbags than Lauren Conrad, and is the Queen Bee Blair Waldorf.

7. She is still in love with Chipper Jones & has been faithful to that obsessive love for 10 years!

8. She cleans a lot, especially after my messes.

9. She loves tanning & will climb on top of our roof just to catch some rays.

10. She puts up with & allows my best friend Seth to worship her.

11. She's so funny, just read her blog...& she's the only one who thinks I'm funny.

12. She's a graduated cougar, both educational wise & in dating.

13. She can pass as a New Yorker, a So Cal girl & a Flo Rida.

14. Like our mom has different laughs; she has different screeches.

15. She will forever use the words, "FREAKER & Ho-bag!"

16. She's the only one who I will listen to & actually do everything & anything she says.

17. She has the best Halloween costumes, like a crayon, pumpkin, and a christmas present (she's won numerous costume contests)

18. She got me addicted to Betsey, Juicy & Rock and Republics!

19. She is solely responsible for the well-dressed Adison family.

20. She lets me be her shadow & clone.

21. She can quote the following movies: Ladybugs, Mean Girls, Legally Blond, Clueless & THE OTHER SISTER.

22. She still paints her nails crazy colors despite CRAZY ladies sending her to get a nice manicure.

23. (Accessories Queen) SHE wears so MANY accessories, never leaving the house without a headband, necklace, belt & matching bag.

24. Speaking of bags, she's a bag lady...her bags are like Mary Poppins' bags, you can find anything you need in there.

25. She's also a J.Lo wedding planner & can plan a wedding with a two weeks notice.

26. She is secretly in love with the Clean Flicks guy, that's why we giggle every time we see him.

27. She is the most creative person I know, from scrapbooking to sewing...she'll just, "MAKE IT WORK!"

28. She encourages me to lose my VL & make-out & go on a mission at the same time!

29. She so graciously shares our AUGUST 28th birthday...

It's Page, not Paige, Arizona...

ROADTRIP #3
THE REZ...

My last roadtrip of the summer, a quickie trip made for a quickie engagement. As the assistant to the wedding planner (my sister), I found myself declining baseball boy's invite to Zions & on the way to Page for Dezi's reception.


Without air conditioning & stopping for food, the only stop we made was at a vintage/junk store.



Arriving in Page we started searching for a Navajo Times (proof to our mother that we were on the Rez). We found a trading post where SURPRISINGLY they didn't stock them, but we did find one at a gas station.
Lunch with Dezi's family was fun. Then the newlyweds arrived & our work began. Cutting, folding, unraveling huge paper flowers...then I washed grapes & blueberries until my hands resembled raisons.

I couldn't help, but to think about all that I was missing on that Zion's trip. I wanted to go & planned on it way before baseball boy walked me home after our last game of tennis & asked me to go. As much as I didn't want it to my thoughts were there with him even when I was suppose to be getting over him. My only relief was something completely unexpected...

I was done helping so I took a quick nap. I woke up to some gun shots outside (Dezi's brothers were shooting some targets). I laid there for a minute. As I got up I was suprised, to see Dezi's brother in the process of getting ready for work...shirtless. Taken completely off guard, I didn't know what to do & feeling like an idiot & said, "Hey-ay." At that moment, I forgot about baseball boy & everything dealing with the baseball boy. I sat & chatted with this attractive shirtless native boy. As short lived as it was; I was stunned...it was the 1st time ever considered a Navajo boy. There's still hope for me! (FYI: Halves are always cute).

Bre & I were only in Page for a day, but it completely rocked my world.

"I took a chance. I took a shot. You might think I'm bullet proof, but I'm not"

Where in the world is Carmen San Diego?

Summer Roadtrip # 2 (JUNE)

DESTINATION: SAN DIEGO

MY TRAVELING BESTIE: BRENNA

DRIVING 10 hours to celebrate the end of Justina's single life...sorry boys!

BRIDAL PARTY THEME SONG, "DON'T TRUST ME!" (don't trust the ho/don't trust me")
Dressing up, (LA HOIA) Sushi, Yogurt, Sleepover, & Confessions of a Shopaholic

RANDOM: HAIRCUT

Attempt to get over baseball boy. (month after getting my heart broken)

Roadtrip theme song: "Goodbye, got my haircut cuz it reminded me of you, I know you like the long do, had to switch my attitude."

After dying my hair back to black, baseball boy LOVED my long black hair!

The BEACH with Brenna & her HOT older brother!

LOVED singing along to Lil' Wanye songs.

SEA WORLD

I touched various endangered animals & predators! LOVED the fireworks!

I even risked my life by riding the water-rollar coster (3x)!

& flirted with the ride worker just to ride it 3 consecutive times.

& ending up looking like this....

I HEART BIFF! He was the funny performer doing the Single Ladies dance & jamming to N'sync!







MRS. Amerson!

We hit our 1st traffic jam on the way to the temple to see Justina & her HUSBAND to walk out of the temple married for forever!













The prettiest temple I've ever seen in my life! The real-life castle I dream to get married in.

WHERE IT ALL BEGAN...we ate at the resturant Rosy & Brenna worked together, thus I became Rosy's room-mate then met Brenna.

THE RECEPTION

Hands down, it was the nicest place I have ever been to. San Bernadino Country Club. Valet parking & everything...truffles anyone?

THE Happy COUPLE!

FASHIONABLY LATE...




















ONLY DOWNER: I wasn't a bridesmaid!

Always a bridesmaid, NEVER a bride...ok, I wasn't even a bridesmaid, but I did travel the longest & furthest of her friends!






"Lucky, I'm in love with my best friend."

THE DANCE after....Justina's dance was fun, but Brenna's stake dance was freaking awesome! Brenna & I crashed an 80's theme Stake dance later that night! & I found the cutest boys to dance with.

BALBOA PARK

I loved walking around Balboa Park. The museums, street performers & the FLOWERS!

I loved how we'd over-hear random people loving my outfit.

NAVAL BASE: Embarassing moment, everywhere I go I always do something funny & strangers laugh at me.

We found our MEN!




















I LOVE BASEBALL, but not BASEBALL BOYS....anymore.

MY FAVORITE PART! Brenna's little brother's band.

I loved their music & the show!











BUT...I mostly LOVED...

THE HOTT GUITAR PLAYER....

THE ONLY BOY I'd go to jail for! HAHAH...okay, I was mortified finding out he's 17 & in H.S.

Kind of dissed him when getting a picture with the band, he was about to put his arm around me, but I moved over.

We had our moments of staring at each other...


1st time I have considered myself a COUGAR!











DOWNTOWN SAN DIEGO

Driving around & checking out hot spots like where the Dashboard Confessional music video for, "Stolen" was filmed.

THE BYOB party w/a SAILOR

Being from UT...people would ALWAYS bring up MORMONS. BUT at this party, they were the nicest (& drunkest) people about it. & apoligized over & over for swearing & drinking. I spent 20 minutes talking to a drunk guy having the same conversation over & over. It was funny!

THE REWARD

The last thing I wanted to see was the temple at night. It was worth everything just to see this.














THE END

6 days of CALIFORNIA we returned from Brenna's hometown to my home state.
LOVES: Justina, Brenna, SD Temple, In-N-Out, Jail-bait guitar player, beach, dancing, Juicy charm, Betsey Johnson, 50 flirting techniques, Sea World fireworks, Balboa Park, downtown SD, Padre field, Naval base & cruising SD.

RANDOMNESS: Border patrol flirting with Brenna, HAIRCUT, while driving through UT.Guys holding up a sign, "Show us your boobs!" BYOB party, Mor-nija (what I was called bc I'm mormon)&(religious persecution), Justina's mom & purple nail-polish comment, NOT being a bridesmaid, Naked kid on the beach & the semi-scandelous institute dance.