2009 was the most frustrating & hard year I've ever had. A time of loss with tons of heartache & pain.
I am completely glad it's almost over...
See you in hell 2009!
Last blog post of the decade/year! See ya next year...in 2010!
I have been eating to escape...the reality of life.
The reality is I'm unhappy & fat. The most embarrassing part is when I realized I was fat at CD pool swimming with my family. Everyone went down the big slide & so I went down....SLOWLY. I stopped in the middle of the slide & only made it all the way down is because a little kid behind me rammed into me sending me all the way down the slide.
I want to do good. I want to live righteously, but it's twisted by others to be perceived as being self-righteous and judgmental & most of all SELFISH.
I hate feeling this way. I have never felt this much hatred. It feels more raw now, every negative thing feels a million times worse.
In the last year of my life I had never cried more than the last month of my life. I know I have a problem letting go of my emotions and channeling it into something.
"wHEre YoU wAnT tO be"...
In the pit, boys with eyeliner & skinny jeans; I was in HEAVEN! We stood back for Taking Back Sunday. Far enough back that I was the only one dancing & singing to the songs. Tons of people, the lights went dim & the crowd pushed forward running to the stage. We got swept up in the crowd. I couldn't breathe.
"hAPPENS ONcE AgAIn YOU TuRN TO A FRIEND..."
Abbie grabbed my arm & pulled me out of the mosh pit. I got stepped on & trampled over as boys with no shirts slammed up against each other. We got out, but security wouldn't let us leave the pit. I couldn't see anything so I ran in the no-people zone to the side of the stage to get a closer picture of Tom & about 4 security guards escorted us back to the pit.
I wanted to see Mark Hoppus, not Travis or Tom & he was the furthest from us. Abbie got sucked into the mosh pit & couldn't get out. She got pushed into the front where a guy had to grab her arm to pull her out.